That thought; that feeling

Sometimes when I’m walking along, I spot something mid-process. Not a static sign (neither literal nor metaphorical), this is some action, some performance. It might involve the derring-do of a speeding young driver, a verbal altercation between two people, or perhaps a pair of birds: two magpies, or a seagull and pigeon, having a flappy confrontation with one another.

Sometimes, as I find my gaze pulled into these situations, I seem to lose myself (or my self?). It is as though I become entirely entwined in the scene before me. I’ll be walking, but I realise after that I have no knowledge that I carried on moving. The sensation is as though I’m stopped in my tracks. The process normally only lasts a second before I (literally) come back to my senses.

After, I always conclude that my walking continued; that I didn’t actually freeze in awe, but I have no way to know for sure (I’m always walking alone when this occurs). Like the person asked to consider whether what they perceived is really real, all I can answer with is: it must have happened! What other explanation can there be?

But whatever explanation I conjure up to rationalise that pause, I am still left with that momentary escape, that seeming dissolution of my body. And here’s to many more perturbances between ‘my self’ and ‘my surroundings’. Nan Shepherd seemed to know the feeling. As she notes in the Living Mountain upon wading into Loch Etchachan in the Cairngorms:

Then I looked down; and at my feet opened a gulf of brightness so profound my mind stopped. 

Turnips and Apples – a poem

A poem I wrote, in my songwriting days of yore. Witches and god-like powers and apples (for dooking) and turnips (for neepie lanterns) – it seems like a not bad time to publish this.

take the turnips from the branches
plant them down and watch them up
bending from the boughs seems odd now
covered with dirt seems better now
ugly, knurled like witches’ skin
your eyes and mine should not have seen
so I decree put them in the floor
so they can live their forever more

the apple buried in the dirt
    too nice, pink and bright
put up upon the branch
    of the barren turnip tree

when the plants were all invented
some of them were mistakes indeed
if they’re up high infront of eyes
why are they such we don’t want to see?
perhaps there was some method
to the madness as was seen
so then I took it on me
to make things right as they should be

now the apple in the sky
    utility down away from eyes
for what need but not desire
    for worms, perhaps and eating only

the sun used to shine only at night
like a street lamp in the fog
the day was misty dull and grey
with dim light all around but where from?
the sun must rise in morning hence
light this dismal place
give it more hydrogen fuel
so its warmth can reach through space

now we all can see
    when our eyes requires
day and night forever split
    behold the great glowing fire

it is not with jest these changes
I placed upon the modern man
light to see and beauty in trees
darkness for the rest of them
take the fodder from the garden
marvel in the sunny light
eat and be well, jewels atwinkle
from this day until darkness nigh

Sighting the Triple Kirks

Prologue

In June 2013, the inaugural Famulus journal was published, to a tiny print-run of 25 retail copies. I contributed an essay about the Triple Kirks ruined church in the centre of Aberdeen, Scotland. The future of the site has long been debated, with developments proposed and quashed every couple of years. However, Dandara have now stated their intention to redevelop the site, flattening all but the spire, which itself will be subsumed into a glass-fronted office block. It will be called ‘the Point’; which calls to mind the tatty cinema complex in Milton Keynes of the same name – although this is to be demolished too, according to Wikipedia. (I used to visit this cinema as kid. That metal pyramid exoskeleton seemed enormous to me then, reaching up in to the clouds. Sadly, as an adult, its size is somewhat diminished and puny-looking). I am republishing my Triple Kirks essay here, to share that special structure/non-structure, soon to be lost to the developer’s vision.

* * *

Sighting the Triple Kirks

Image

Contrary to most of the other grand old buildings of Aberdeen city centre, this one is not composed of granite: that hard, cold rock that so easily mimics the sky above (or is it the sky that mimics buildings below?). The Triple Kirks is a brick building. Bricks of deep vermillion; small bricks: pre-metric. Small and long; flat.

The Triple Kirks was hastily built in 1843 by Aberdeen’s architect son Archibald Simpson. The Church of Scotland was in crisis, with serious concerns that the Kirk’s spiritual piousness was being too intertwined with political, secular matters. The Free Church was formed during this Disruption (capitalisation intended) to counter the established church’s politicisation, and buildings were needed quickly. The Triple Kirks was built to house three congregations; these three churches being united through the use of a single steeple, with each church arranged around the central spire in a pinwheel style.

The site selected was on the edge of the Denburn Valley: at the time, a swathe of lush picturesque greenery, with Den Burn at its centre. The flame-red spire serving to add that so-valued human addition, which was thought to only improve existing natural beauty. Previously, and for seventy years, a weaving factory occupied the site. From here came the red bricks that forms the spire (plus some further brick from demolished fisherman cottages at Ferryhill). One of those employed at the former factory was William Thom, Weaver Poet of Inverurie. In Lines Written at Ravenscraig1, he talks of the ruins on the banks of the River Ugie:

        Bring ivy wi’ its peaceful green,

Gae hide ilk hoar, unhallow’d stane;

They maunna bloat you bonnie een

                                That watch the gushin’ Ugie

Unlike the Ugie, the Den Burn is now hidden; culverted to make way for a rarely-used dual carriage way. Along this valley there also runs a train line. But across from this there still remains a shadow of the green Denburn Valley, in the Union Terrace gardens. The eyes of the steeple still watch across the valley: not at the plash of water, but the sporadic flow of car and train. In writing that poem, William Thom unwittingly foretold the fate of the building that was made from the demolition of his employment. The once hallowed, but now unhallow’d red brick of a spire that no longer serves its purpose: as an antenna to heaven; as spiritual beacon for the people below. The churches themselves now pulled down, left empty and roofless, or converted to pub, nightclub, dance studio.

* * *

The church that still remains, but is roofless, is supported by the angular symmetry of modernist scaffolding. In a north facing wall, the wooden frame in the window place has shifted. Its pointed arch outlines skewed against the vertical walls and the order of the scaffolding. The space within these roofless walls is out-of-bounds. But today the service yard for the adjoining pub is quiet, so I sneak in. A piece of rotting chipboard is all that prevents access. I pull the board away, just enough to be able to see the rear of the walls. Despite the relative ease of getting this view, it feels like an act of subversion. I am looking on the wrong side of the walls. Sometimes developers might get in here, and birds have free reign to fly over the walls, though perhaps not the aesthetic wherewithal for its uncanny appreciation.

Image

Another time, when viewing the north wall from the ‘right’ side, that is, the outside, I can see tiny footprints. There is a thin lie of snow, lying like a white quilt, all smooth undulation, but with small tears where precocious grass pokes through. A single line walks towards the wall, by a bird unseen. Perhaps, after all, birds do have a curious interest in this wall. Or maybe it was for the thrill of leaving a trail in the snowy blanket: a kind of colonisation of an untainted canvas; a territorialisation. Perhaps it was searching for food; though deep down I suspect it’s all of these reasons, and none. (What is a reason, anyway, other than the purposeful deliberation of action; a passing-of-the-moment for time-rich, experience-poor human beings?).­­

Who made this path? I wondered. I hear there are peregrines that roost in the lofty spire. All I have ever seen are pigeons, clucking out of the only-partially-boarded belfry openings. But perhaps these are sly peregrines; venturing out only when necessity dictates. Maybe this trail is an elusive marker of this bird. But then, perhaps not. I am resigned to assume I see the marks of pigeon or seagull talons, and no more. Peregrines are migratory after all: perhaps I will see them in the summer.

* * *

ImagePeregrine falcons are the most kingly of the birds: in medieval times, it was only the king who was allowed to use a peregrine for hunting. They are fast too (indeed, the fastest bird) – flying at over 200 miles per hour on its way to its prey. And so back to the snow-path. Why would the peregrine, with its keen eye, be strolling about the ground? This bird is not one of horizontal strolling, of scrubbing about in the dirt looking for scraps of barely edible debris. They are of verticality; for it can only be through the plummet-from-height that they could achieve those speeds. Where else could these birds roost but the tall, slender spire of the Triple Kirks?

William Thom wrote Lines Written at Ravenscraig, and imagined that ruin looking down on the Ugie; perhaps now the eyes of the peregrines look across the Denburn Valley and Aberdeen beyond: the Eyes of the Triple Kirks. It was, after all, the ancient Egyptian god Horus, that peregrine-deity, whose right eye gave us Sun Ra, and the left the moon; whose symbolism paved the way for the Christian all-seeing eye. An all-seeing eye for the city, but one that is not moved by human actions. A passive eye that, perhaps through generations, sees the rise and fall, the stasis and flux of development and abandonment of human activity.

* * *

Archibald Simpson died in 1847 and his friend James Giles created a posthumous portrait of Simpson sat in a study, in front of the Denburn Valley, including the Triple Kirks steeple2. Viewing this painting, it is not obvious whether the view depicted is that of an earlier painting James Giles made, placed into the scene, or if it supposed to be a view through a window. One thing is likely: there is not a room that would have given such a view of the valley and kirks. But the fact that Giles used this view is testament to both his, and Simpson’s, attachment to the Triple Kirks. Walking through the centre of Aberdeen, reminders of Archibald Simpson’s achievements abound. Giles could have chosen any number of buildings to frame his friend. But the Triple Kirks was used for that living image of Simpson.

Like a memorial bench, we take up that view that was so important to the one being remembered. We embody the passed, as we recognise that which was dear, and so too it becomes dear to us. And we embody the past too: the Triple Kirks are entirely identifiable, but it is clear to see the Kirks as they were built, not as they stand now.

But does this painting really show them “as they were built”? For a start, this is a make-believe drawing room, in that it almost certainly did not have this view. And the Triple Kirks was built to house the new Free Church as it splintered away from the established kirk. But instead we get an image of a timeless-looking church tower (indeed, the steeple was modelled on one of the two towers of the 13th century Church of Saint Elizabeth in Marburg, Germany), with the lush folding greens in front. Archibald Simpson himself looks at peace in the painting, with a gentle half-smile, looking on to his drawings. The church, both above and with the nature of the valley; Simpson beyond the petty ecclesiastical arguments, yet intertwined with them by proximity. Perhaps this is a painting of desire, where the church is as tranquil as the greenery, and Simpson is alive, and smiling.

But of course this cannot come to pass. Death follows life, as ruins follows structure. But as long as ruins remain, the remembrances are painted and constructed, space is appropriated unexpectedly, there will always be lines of sight. Sightlines to see, and to remember, to imagine, and to recreate, and create anew. For now at least, “Simpson’s spire soar[s] above oblivious: it has a stout granite heart within its brick skin, after all”3.

Image

Notes

1 Appears in Thom, W., 1847, Rhymes and Recollections of a Handloom Weaver, London: Smith, Elder and Co. Page 109

2 For an image of this painting, see http://tinyurl.com/Archibald-Simpson (accessed 10/04/2013)

3 Brogden, W.A., 2012, Aberdeen: An Illustrated Architectural Guide, Edinburgh: Royal Incorporation of Architects in Scotland. Page 59.

Impression: Afternoon to Gloaming

Today, Aberdeen was blessed with something of a summery day: what will surely be the last sun-and-warmth day of the year. Passing the digital thermometer display at the oil careers office, I was informed that the temperature was 20C. Wikipedia says the average temperature in July is 18.3C, while the highest temperature ever recorded was just shy of 30C. For temperatures to apparently reach 20C in October is quite the achievement: especially considering there was a big snowfall this time last year!

Buoyed by the conditions and soft sun, I decided to take the long route home from work. I work near the beach, so I first set off for the old village of Footdee (pronounced Fittie), so to follow the coast north, from the mouth of the Dee to the mouth of the Don. The tide is in as I start walking. I first start on the tarmac path on the top of the sea wall, and am quickly mesmerised by the waves crashing into the concrete. But these swells and troughs are not the rhythmic breathing of a sea (which have been conveyed superbly by Fife Psychogeographical Collective); these are intermittent, unpredictable. I see the water rising up, and approaching fast, but not always breaking and creeping up the sand. When the waves do break, they crash loudly into a concrete groyne, and I stand mesmerised for some fifteen minutes, as I lean against the wooden fence on the path. I think about what causes this sound and remember watching the extraordinary BBC documentary The Secret Life of Waves.

Mindful of the time, I start to walk. But this tarmac path is too far from the beach. I climb down the steps to the sand and take off my shoes and let the cold foamy water cover my feet. It seemed to be a summery day, but some things give away the autumnal time of year. For one thing, the light has already started to fade. Another: the skenes of geese as they hohn hohn hohn overhead. They are coming from the north-northeast, and I wonder if they are from Shetland, Orkney or even Scandinavia. The amusement park with its rollercoaster and big wheel are also closed for winter, with flocks of birds fly around and through the closed rides.

Hardly anyone is on the beach. Despite the warm sunny day, few people make it down the steps to the shingle-and-sand, although there are more people on the path above. Out to sea I can see gunmetal grey clouds. In the distance, squally showers, that never touch land. There are multiple ships out on the water too, mostly taking heavy equipment to the rigs, as well as a passenger vessel heading north, presumably to the Northern Isles. But I’m not drawn to these long views. My attention keeps coming back to the beach and its pebbles, to the foreshore and the bobbing gulls, and those crashing waves. I notice the changing colour of the water. Out to sea it’s deep grey, much like the clouds above. As it approaches the shore, a water green, and finally, golden-brown as the sand is swirled and swept up.

As I approach Donmouth, the light has dropped considerably; all that remains is a darkened walk along the river’s bank and home. And I smile as I do so, thinking of this final fine walk this side of next Easter.

Donmouth to North Sea, Aberdeen

Donmouth to North Sea, Aberdeen

An Equilibrium Not of This World – an impression

Projected diptych video, Edinburgh College of Art, Lauriston Place, for Edinburgh Art Festival 2013, by Katri Walker

I lived in Edinburgh for several years. That festival city, where there always seems to be some celebration of one form of entertainment or another at any one time. But last year I left, pulled to Aberdeen by a curiosity to live somewhere new, and to help my partner explore a new career opportunity. I miss those festivals, but I also miss those hills. I’ve talked about the Pentland Hills before. These hills lie to the southwest of Edinburgh, and are mostly protected as a Regional Park, and rest within the counties of Edinburgh, West Lothian, Midlothian and South Lanarkshire. The spectre of the Pentland hills loom large over the city of Edinburgh. There are a great deal of points within the city where the Pentlands can be glimpsed: a stilled, wild, rural and, perhaps most importantly, remote area. To the city of Edinburgh, these hills are always present, but always at a remove, not quite reachable for most; at least, not without some effort.

I used to often make my way to the hills. While the reality of the hills in their intimacy may not quite invoke the wild, stilled and remoteness that their distant viewing suggests (one hill pass is aptly named Windy Door Nick), the relative openness,

Still from An Equilibrium Not of This World, courtesy of Katri Walker.

Still from An Equilibrium Not of This World, courtesy of Katri Walker.

and quietness1 is apparent. In Katri Walker’s piece, she explores and gently reveals the way in which a retreat to the hills can manifest itself in the acting of hill running. As the promotional material puts it, it is about: “the dialogue between body and landscape, interior and exterior, man and machine”. The installation shows two projection screens alongside one another. On the right, a path through hills is tracked; a close up of shrubby branches twitching in the wind; a vista of mountains, with clouds floating through the blue sky above. On the left, the right screen’s loose correlates in the form of various analytic sequences and videos that tends towards the scientific investigation of running: stop animation of a runner (presumably on a treadmill in a lab) and a black and white scan of a beating heart; neurons sparking; a plot of inhale/exhale against a graph-paper background.

The installation took place in the Edinburgh College of Art, in a darkened studio. I sat on floor, staring at the screens, trying to take in the pair of images; wondering what the intention of the work is, and what it stirs within me. The sonic accompaniment too was significant (and wonderful). It featured music by Judith Weir, which flowed between deep, plaintive bowed strings, to a light, fluttering thrill on violin. In addition, there was the sounds of breathing, and of heart beating, weaving in and out of the music. The slow deep music, racing breath, and on the right hand screen, a view of the hill path, being tracked uphill: the sonic expression of the gruel of a climb. But as the descent begins, so the music changes: this is when it gets lighter, and sprightly, as the run goes down hill; buoyed by gravity: a dance with the landscape.

After my third or fourth viewing, the music cuts out. “It does this occasionally, and always at this point!” says the host at the door, by way of explanation. I assume this is a coincidence, though part of me wonders if this is a treat afforded to those who sit through more than a couple of viewings: a chance to have external noise fall away; a chance for my thoughts to come through more strongly. Up until this point, I have been viewing the film from a distance, as an object. Sure, I was trying to imagine my time in the Pentland Hills, and the physical exertion that entails, but all I was doing was calling upon my memories. But when the audio stopped, I suddenly become hyper-aware of myself. I was tired from travelling, and I realised I was shaking to the rhythm of my heart beat. The visual was still present, and my gentle rocking seemed to be a personal expression of the run. It was as though I had transcended that void between viewer and art; as though I had become part of the piece. Not as though I was running, more like my body shaking as the memory of rural exertion was bubbling up through my being (or at least, my-being-there).

Gravitated plants - taken by the author.

Gravitated plants – taken by the author.

Perhaps that’s what it’s really like? When we’re totally consumed by that moment, that experience, that immersion. After leaving the exhibition, I wandered down the corridor, lost in thought. Facing one wall, was a glass-topped display case. The glass top was angled towards the wall: this cabinet had been rotated through 180 degrees, to minimise its prescence; to show that it was not for viewing: that it was mere clutter; had not been removed in time for Edinburgh Art Festival. The case was almost empty. A white card held taxonomic tags, but most of the specimens that corresponded were not to be found. All that was left were a couple of dried branches, looking like heather or some other woody, scraggy shrub. This case wasn’t meant for viewing, but following my intense focus on Katri Walker’s installation, I was drawn in. That naming and taming of nature, subverted by carelessness; gravity pulling the plant away from its ‘label’: an unintended act against subjugation.

Later, I thought back to the Pentland Hills, to my time in Edinburgh, to the festivals. I was struck by how familiar that place was, despite all that had changed since leaving 11 months earlier. That city and its hills had fed into me, become entwined in my being. I had dragged my physical body away to Aberdeen, but I was threaded into this place, and it into me. As Andrew Grieg says:

There are some hills and people
we cannot return to,
because nothing would be the same,
because we never left them.
2



Notes

1 Quietness is deliberate, though not perfect. The hills are rarely completely quiet; conversley it’s not impossible to find peace within the city limits. It’s the contrast I’m trying to emphasise here.

2 Excerpt from Knoydart Revisited, in Greig, A, 2011, Getting Higher, Edinburgh: Polygon, p201

Of the white faeries – a summer Solstice wildcamp

The shortest night; the longest day.

Since moving to Scotland several years ago, and moved by the markedly longer summer days than the southern-central England of my growing up, I have desired to camp out on that oddly beguiling day. A previous attempt at a solstice summer wildcamp ended in a hasty retreat to the car: both partner and I red-raw from midge bites; the springy ground, lochside view and under-the-trees cover proving no match.

But that was a few years ago, in the west of Scotland, where midge numbers are high. This year, I will try again. This year will be different. I set out alone (this was, after all, my dream, not ours), on my heavily laden mountain bike. I know my destination, having camped there in the mild spring. I check the midge forecast, which gives a confidence-inspiring 1-out-of-5 for the nearest spot. This time I chose a bivouac bag over a tent: it’s light; but really, I want that sheer weather-on-your-face exhilaration.

Although I had slept at my chosen spot before, I did not know it well. When I first stayed there, I tried to make a mark on the map for future reference. Having nothing to write with, I attempted to score the map with a key. But I cannot see where this mark was left. I recognise some junctions in the woods, but that monotonous green of industrial silviculture confounded me. A deeply-tanned, topless and well-built man with snarling dogs, running past me with no more than a sinister glint to his expression only heightens my nervousness of finding a spot to sleep.

Some landmarks really stand out in this woods. The five-ways junction. The line of pylons. The communication masts on the far-off hill. But alas not my sleeping spot. I cannot stay on a path, such is my worry of conflict with those less understanding, but I cannot find a suitable clearing hidden behind tree cover. But like so much in life, with a fortuitous turn of the map, a rarefied glint of light, I see that light scratching on the paper: my bed for the night.

My camp is on a clearing on a slope. This forest is full of such clearings – I managed to find this one, despite its entrance being well hidden from the double-track. It’s an interesting space. That pervasive (literal) forest green of earlier gives way to myriad colour. Just a single tree shows the near-luminous verdant of fresh shoots, the deeper shade of established needles, the chestnut-brown of the ruptured pine cones, the rich brown of the trunk. And there’s more besides. But to that later.

I’m not ready to bed down. It’s still daylight, so I read my copy of the rather apt A Year in the Woods by Colin Elford. As his account goes, so I see the signs of which he speaks. Mostly, these take the form of the passing of deer: hoof marks in the soil, rutting marks on trees. He also mentions the clouds of midges that appear in the Dorset New Forest every year: I am only too aware of their presence around me.

At first the midges don’t bother me. Every half hour or so, they start to swarm, my carbon dioxide the beacon that shines out to them, so I walk within my clearing, and read some more. But after a while, the tiny bugs get wise to my movement. Now I am slowly becoming choked in a cloud. I am walking every ten minutes, 5 minutes, 30 seconds… I have a wooly hat for the cold, but that makes more sense as a midge net, along with my buff from just below my eyes, cycling glasses and long-sleeved base layer. It’s hot, but I feel I have no choice. I also put on my bright yellow cycling coat on: apparently midges don’t appreciate the colour. It seems to serve no purpose but to make me warmer.

This clearing is maybe not as clear as one might imagine. There are still trees that grow here: but short and young. Long grass abounds, but it hides old, near-white dead branches. There’s cotton grass, tiny yellow flowers, bog-loving plants. The more I walk up to avoid the midges, the more I see. Like the delicate young pine tree growing from the middle of a large, rotten stump. The seemingly dead moth that hasn’t moved, despite disturbing its settling place every time I pass on my loop.

Across the valley, towards the cluster of tall communications’ masts, I can see some heavy grey cloud lowering. It looks so cool and refreshing. I wonder: will a blast of cool air deter the midges? Will it soon be raining? The masts vanish, and a cold air comes over my spot. The wind picks up too, another good sign. The sun is still in the sky, but it is reduced to an inky dish of pale light. But despite the promise, the cold air soon parts, and the wind drops. The cloud across the valley still swirls around the masts, but no longer extends to my spot.

I call my partner, someone of wiser stuff, and enquire about the weather. Will it rain at all tonight? If so, when? Does the internet know what plants deter midges? She suggests I should consider coming home. But I’m committed now. If I was to leave, I would be fighting through darkness on unfamiliar tracks. I could end up cycling for hours without knowing where I am. I have to stay.

I feel as though I have been on my feet for hours now. My legs feel heavy. I’m stumbling over the hidden dead branches, and I begin to imagine myself tripping and breaking my leg. The light is falling, but still the air remains warm and still. When I stop for just a few seconds, the midges swarm so heavily that their buzz is audible, like a bee swarm, but of a far bigger choir and yet with smaller voices: a mass harmony.

I have walked up and down so many times. My time stretched up and down the clearing in my walking’s wake. I think I have seen everything there is to see. The lifeless moth; the tiny tree from the massive stump; the branches like bones; the green-burgandy-pale yellow patina of grasses and other plants. But I see something new.

It’s dark, but I see glowing-white creatures, maybe four, maybe eight, maybe more. They are flying around each other, floating and swirling, in a sort of three-dimensional figures of eight (or should that be figures of infinity?). They seem to carry their own light; have the luminosity of the moon. But there is no moon, and there is no sun to reflect on these creatures. What could they be? I stop to look; to ponder. I’m tired. I can’t hold a thought too long. I can’t help but think this must be an apparition, or forgotten beings.

Can they be faeries? I banish more rational explanations. What else would be fluttering around this clump of grass, on this most special of nights? A frolic of solstice faeries. I secretly hope they are tiny guardian angels; that they will chase away the midges so I can sleep. But they don’t; they just keep on dancing: dosey doeing, waltzing to imperfect time.

I walk on, as the midges’ presence becomes obvious again; forget about anything but the biting insects. But now I have seen these faeries, I keep seeing them, lost in their summer revelry, indifferent to my existence. My thoughts drift between anxious din and enchantment. I never consciously seek out the faeries; but my subcounscious always leads me to them, and each time I pause, lost momentarily to their movements.

Eventually I decide to bed down; to stop pacing, start resting. I try. But I have to fight the flies away, the swarm, the buzz, the bites. This is not relaxing. I argue my way into my sleeping bag, and then the bivvy bag. The midges are everywhere: throughout my sleeping bag, all over my face, under my clothes. I pull the sleeping bag over my head to seal me from outside: the midges too much. The bivvy opening is so tight I can hardly breathe. I lay still and cannot help but pant: all I can do to get enough oxygen. But No! I can’t open my bivvy bag, not even a bit. I hear my sleeping bag rip as I pull tighter. I rearrange myself, manage to get an opening but without an influx of midges. I can breath again! My panting slows; heart rate lowers. I relax easily, mostly from exhaustion. But I shift again and the midges find a way in. I’m pulling the bivvy bag tight again, my breath condensing onto the inside of the waterproof bag.

I’m dipping in and out of sleep. Drift off from exhaustion; reawaken through itchy anxiety. Finally the rain comes, that rain my partner promised me. I feel so relieved. There’s no wind; the water falling steadily. I lie with my bivvy bag open, let the water cool my face and its itches. The midge numbers don’t drop much, but it’s wonderful, the cooling, the relaxing, the slow drubbing of rain, so sweet, so relaxing. I smile, drift off, and dream of snow-white faeries…

THE FAMULUS – THE ALBUM

THE FAMULUS – THE FAMULUS – THE ALBUM.

 

THE FAMULUS – THE ALBUM

Following on from the success of The Famulus print edition – which sold out completely – and partly inspired by Ephemeral Man’s genius Wyrd Daze zine, I am now seeking contributions for The Famulus 2 which will be an audio edition.

Music, spoken word, field recording, EVP, audio collage, ambient, drone, interviews, and anything else will be considered. The theme/subtitle of The Famulus 2 is “everyday magic”.

Please contact me with ideas, queries, etc and please spread the word.